Lesbian hairstyles are something to be desired by only its own community. It defnitely sets them apart from the rest of the female population. Today we are going to discuss the unique and different hairstyles of the lesbian community. Often, you can tell a woman's sexual preference by her haircut. When it comes to lesbian gaydar, a haircut can set it off in seconds and with one look. Back in the days of Stonewall, this is what helped others detect their own kind, making it possible to connect with other lesbians. It was much like a walking advertisement for lesbianism. Today, we have these daring women to thank for their bravery in taking those shears and chopping off their precious locks when society rejected the very idea of women in a masculine light. To the women of Stonewall; we applaud you!!
Now, to explore the different styles of a lesbian "do".
First we have the aforementioned supershort haircut. This could be described as a buzz cut, crew cut, or shag. Many women with this style haircut tend to be classified as butch, stonebutch, softbutch, genderqueer or transgendered. They may, at first glance, appear to be male, but alas! they are indeed women who have kind hearts behind that thick masculine layer. These women are great at fixing things like your car or your bathroom sink but leave something to be desired in the hair department.
Now, to explore the different styles of a lesbian "do".
First we have the aforementioned supershort haircut. This could be described as a buzz cut, crew cut, or shag. Many women with this style haircut tend to be classified as butch, stonebutch, softbutch, genderqueer or transgendered. They may, at first glance, appear to be male, but alas! they are indeed women who have kind hearts behind that thick masculine layer. These women are great at fixing things like your car or your bathroom sink but leave something to be desired in the hair department.
Next, we have the more extreme version of a short hairstyle, the shaved head or superbuzz type cut. Many women with this style haircut tend to be angry man-hating lesbians, usually with piercings, tattoos and a mean look in their eye. They may be making a statement or rebelling against society. They may also try to get you to join their anarchist group, and this can put you in a sensative situation. I recommend politely declining, but taking a flyer so as to not offend the opposing party and flashing those big pearly whites while you're at it.
Next, we have the slightly-less-extreme-but-still-pretty-darn-extreme mowhawk (not to be confused with the fauxhawk which we will get to in a minute). The mohawk is also found on the same breed of women who might be seen sporting a shaved head. Usually the mohawk is a gateway cut to the shaved head. Mohawks can be colored, spiked, styled horizontally, vertically, or even twisted into spikes. With a mohawk, the sky's the limit. Mohawks are usually found at places like the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Cochella, Woodstock and other completely hardcore music festivals/rock concerts. The great thing about a mohawk is that when you're sick of it, just take your trusty little razor and shave that bugger off.
Next, we have the illustrious fauxhawk. This is like the lesbian housewife's version of a mohawk; edgy yet sophisticated, more hair and less scare. The fauxhawk has gained increasing popularity in the last few years. Alternative indie rock bands such has Tegan and Sarah, Death Cab for Cutie and Scissor Sisters has severely influenced the concert-going lesbian into fauxhawking their hair. If you are one of the many that have attempted this hairstyle, it can result in a fauxhawk disaster or a style of brillance. Make sure you fully trust you stylist before letting her go fauxhawk on your head.
Next, we have the "Shane" hairstyle. The "Shane" hairstyle has been made famous by the L Word character Shane McCutcheon. Shane's hair can be described as messy, yet awesome. She emobodies the meaning of "bedhead" and pulls it off with a sophisticated swagger. Many have attempted the Shane haircut; many have failed miserably. The Shane hairstyle should really just be left up to the devices of Shane, just hope that if you ever get the chance to meet Katherine Moennig in real life, she'll let you touch those luscious locks.
Next, we have the severely outdated she-mullet style. The mullet was intensely sported in the 70's and 80's and can presently be found in the deep woods of the south where some lesbians prefer to live in flannel, raise their own cattle and keep guns by their bedside. It is characterized by a very short, flobied look on the top of the head, and longish hair usually resting slightly above the shoulders. I would not recommend getting a mullet. Ever. Period. I am almost 99.99% positive that the mullet hairstyle will not be regaining popularity anytime in the near future. Despite it's hideousness, the She-mullet has provided many hours of ample entertainment; it is a societal rule that if a mullet is spotted in public, it is crucial to snap a photo of it immediately and document that moment in time. I promise it will tranport you back to an era of bad hair, cocaine and ridiculous clothing.
Finally, we have the variable and rather boring femme hairstyle. Femmes have a tendency to wear their hair long or longish which usually causes them to blend in with the heterosexual population. Femme hair can be straight, wavy or curly, usually colortreated and upkept with expensive products that are maintained frequently by spending long hours in front of a mirror. Femmes also utilize accessories in the maintenance of their hair; clips, bobbypins, hair straightners, curlers, curling irons, crimping irons, the list goes on. These accessories can usually be found weighing down their over-sized Coach bags and are brought out for touch-ups in restaurant and nightclub bathrooms in cases of severe hair emergency. Femmes are quite particular about their hair and try to avoid rain, fog, humidity and other adverse weather conditions that might ruin the integrity of their most current $200 hairstyle.
This concludes the segment on Lesbian Hair; I think we've covered all the topics from good, bad and ugly hairstyles that characterize all walks of lesbian life. The next time you're in front of the mirror, ask yourself, what kind of lesbian hairstyle do I want to sport today?